You know what's funny? When I've been actually using this blogskin for MONTHS but only now did I realize that nineofthirteen is actually a SJ fan and I saw her name a few times on my timeline. And now I'm giggling to myself at how ignorant I am. Oh god.
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Sooooooooooo, I didn't realize that my last post was actually last year..
Somehow, just after 3 months, I feel tired. Tired of the many problems that appeared one after another, tired of myself and even tired of studies. Yes yes, it's just the 3rd month and this is just the beginning but I'm already SO tired. I don't even want to think that O's are just a mere 8 months away ('cept for Malay of course).
What I realized the most this year is that my self-esteem have dropped rock bottom. I have never felt "pretty" so far this year, not even once. I feel ugly, I feel judged, I feel fat, I feel disgusting. See what I mean?
I was the girl who thought that confidence is sexy and all. And look at the choice of words I'm using on myself now. Oh well, maybe the insults from everyone worked, it's finally taking effect on me.
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Anywayz, I guess everything is so far so good. Wait, I'm lying. Everything is crappy so far. And everyday I wish that the next day will be better.
Hopefully, tomorrow
will be better.
