pathetic; yup, that's me. totally utterly pathetic. pathetic because i'm not done with dnt when everyone else is. pathetic because i was eager for his reply but got a "idk... i just don't want to talk to you." pathetic because i've studied quite hard for prelims but i'm pretty sure i'll flunk it. pathetic because i'm trying
too hard.
honestly, a penknife now would be good. slashing it across my arms would be good. but since i'm pretty sure people will ask (when have they not), i would love to do it on my thighs? it's been 2 years and i miss the feeling of blood flowing out of me and that pain. but that pain was never as painful as the one in my chest and head... it's never as painful. call me a sadist but i like that feeling.
turned off my phone because i refuse to talk to anyone. i hate everyone. i hate the world. i hate myself. and i hate that face that i can't talk about any of these to anyone... hah. what friends. what family. its better keeping things to myself. its way better like this.
I chew pain like gum- the dark night raises me up again, I raise myself up
ini semua normal.
