Oh what am I doing here on a Sunday night when there is school tomorrow and I need to think of 3 plots for Misunderstood, Blinded and Persistence. Not to forget, O's are right around the corner. I would be lying if I said I'm not scared. Heck, I'm even trembling now as I type this while thinking about it. I don't wanna fail - wait, who does? - but the thought of me failing is so scary. How do I do for the next month will determine my entire future actually.

I'm not even sure what I'm feeling like right. Is it my back aching or maybe its too cold or maybe I'm a little lonely idk I feel so... down? I just want to release my tears. Tears of which emotions are unknown to myself. Currently listening to B.A.P's Voicemail. I have always stand by my 'not caring about rookie groups' but B.A.P have really captured my eyes (and ears). Voicemail is a wonderful song. The phone dailing intro and Daehyun's adlibs (yes, I know all their names surprisingly) and of course, the lyrics:

Because I don’t have an ounce of emotions left
한 톨의 감정도 난 없으니까
I will cry my eyes out and erase you afterwards
눈물 한번 펑펑 흘리고 너를 지워 버려줄게

That is probably my favourite lines in the song. So short yet so meaningful.
But unlike the 'you', I'm prolly crying over the pressure that is truly kicking in. I should have listened to all the advices that told me to start ahead. But no, stubborn ol' me. Serves me right that reality punched me only two weeks beforehand.

And for the ounce of emotions, I have said this a thousand times and I will continue saying it until I get my answer: I forgot how emotions work.
'Happy', 'sad', 'angry': these are all meaningful labels.
I feel so empty. Like there is a hole in my heart and the sadder part? I don't even know the cause that hole so how am I supposed to fix that hole?

And as usual, like the stupid girl I am, I am crying over... nothing. Over something I don't know.

Last post till' O's are over I guess, exactly 2 more weeks to the first paper.
Make every day count, Wani.   화이팅~
(I think Korean words are so much deeper for me, haha)