Can you believe it? D-day is tomorrow.
That one slip of paper that will be given will determine my future. The courses I can choose, the schools I can go. Somehow, I feel that I should have studied harder. Or maybe earlier. Or maybe had a little more interest in Biology(which I didn't study for at all). And somehow, I wished that people around me should have pushed me harder. But too late to regret it all now huh.


"Which poly you want go?"
"Any poly that accept me lor."


People around are asking if I'm confident, which poly I want to go, which course do I want. Someone said too, that I should know how I roughly did already by the amount of effort I put in. I got confused with that sentence tho. Torn between feeling that I did work hard and regretting not working harder. So I'm really not sure. I don't want to have high hopes either, so that it won't get crushed after seeing that paper. Plus, only with that paper then I can have a choice right? What's the point of having a specific course/school I want to go to but not meeting the cut-off point. But people don't see my point when I try to explain that tho.

While on the phone with bbygirl just now, I told her I haven't feel the pressure yet. Maybe a few hours before, we both said. Maybe School 2013 have managed to distract me. And speaking of which, it is such a heart-wrenching drama. In a good way I guess? Instead of replaying fluffy scenes, I'm replaying the angsty ones. And yup, I become a crying mess every single time. By now, I've remembered all the "deep" convos between Nam-Soon and Heung-Soo. My favourite tho:

Other than soccer, I only had you. When I wanted to die after I lost soccer, you should've been there.
That's why what I'm saying is.. didn't you miss me, you bastard?

I'm not sure if it was how Nam-Soon and Heung-Soo tears flowed so slowly and painfully (for me) or the wonderful script or maybe even the way Heung-Soo curses Nam-Soon bastard after asking him that question; but it was such a great scene. Acting wise and all. Repeated it about 5 times and cried equally hard for all of them. I don't usually watch dramas with young leads or ongoing dramas but I'm breaking my own rules and enjoying this drama. It's not as slow-paced as some of the other dramas I watched before and this one's different... I'm enjoying the bromance, student-teacher relationship here. And yup, watching Babyfaced Beauty before, I was overjoyed to see Choi Daniel and Jang Nara together. I sense a loveline going on in School 2013 too.


Other than watching dramas, I learned IGAB's dance. Wanted to even record a dance cover and upload it on Youtube but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I have the confidence in my dance but not so with having people watch it. Oh well, I'm pretty sure one day I will muster up the courage to upload one dance cover. One fine day...

So for 3 days, I was lazy(?) to talk to people. Couldn't be bothered. Checked the whatsapp messages I received but didn't want to reply. Idk. I realized that I like doing this whole 'disappear-from-people-and come back-when-I-feel-like-it'. It eases my mind and heart after awhile and makes me happier. Even decided to make it a monthly thing so that I can fix myself every once in awhile. Maintenance, you can call it? Hahah.

I'm so happy that I'm blogging with a happy heart unlike what I always do last year. But it have only been 10 days into 2013. Won't expect much but I'll stick to my resolution, to stay optimistic this year.

And hopefully, my results are great later.

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