Yup, another pessimistic post. Nothing's new, I guess.

Time and time when I think of us, I can never think of how far we can go. I'm definitely relying on the flow. What happens, happens. If it was meant to be, it will. Being with you is a rollercoaster ride, one minute I'm laughing till my cheeks hurt and the next... crying till my chest hurts. I get asked why am I with you and I can only say that people won't understand how much we've gone through in such a short time. I also asked myself how do I tolerate you so well? The old Wani wouldn't give two cents if you don't text me, the old Wani wouldn't give two cents if you're angry at me because I touched someone else.. but why is that with you, I care about your feelings more than I care about mine? Maybe it's because I've been trying hard to be optimistic nowadays. Always looking forward to the rainbow after the storm. But till' when will I tolerate the storm? I'm sure there'll be a day when I will get sick of it.

I watched 500 Days of Summer just now and it was literally a punch in my face. It was like looking in the mirror and reflected was a Wani before I met you, the one who doesn't believe in love, fate and all those bullshit. Got me feeling scared that I will be hurt like what happened to Tom. Maybe I'm thinking too much but these little thoughts are the one making me feel so.... drained. I can barely move a muscle on my face. Or am I just physically tired? Idk.

I'm just scared that now that I opened my arms fully, that I would maybe just feel air instead when you find someone more interesting, pretty and feminine just like your 'ideal girl' is. Just like last time.